test blog 8

I am so  grateful to be home, and to have several more days off before returning to work. All four of us are happy to be back. What a joy and a privilege to have a home that I love!  Seeing the dermatologist in Campbell River on the day we were driving through town was an even bigger stroke of luck than we knew:  it was the last day before the doctor's vacation!  I would have had to wait another two weeks, in addition to another six hours of driving. Dermatologist: 1. Ordered a whole whack of blood tests to make sure there's no underlying issue causing the urticaria. It's likely the hives are idiopathic -- " CIU " -- but I'm glad he's checking. 2. Prescribed a new-generation antihistamine in three or four times the normal dosage to try to bring the reaction under control. I had it filled immediately. 3. Said if the antihistamines don't work, we'll do a course of oral steroids. I have no problem with that, but I'm also glad he's not starting...

I've spent the last two days reading, blogging, scratching, and occasionally eating and sleeping. There were other things to do on Salt Spring Island, but I was too uncomfortable to do anything. It was very nice to have uninterrupted time to read and write. Tomorrow we'll take an early ferry to Crofton, drive up to Campbell River, take care of our appointments, then head back home.  * * * * I've had a long running argument by email with the host of this cottage. I'd like to leave a negative review, but I've read that bad reviews can seriously damage a host's standing with Airbnb. Also, I don't have many reviews on Airbnb and I don't want to be reviewed as a bad guest. I wish the cottage was listed on TripAdvisor, as I have a more substantial body of reviews there. I've also read that a guest's review is not published until the host reviews the guest -- so if the host wants to suppress a negative review, they can simply decline to leave...

Today's big news is that the GP Dermatologist in Campbell River will see me on the day we are driving through that town, on our way home. Which is two days from now! I'm so relieved I could cry. I called and pleaded my case -- to be honest, just a simple explanation, I didn't need to exaggerate! -- and also explained we would be passing through town in a couple of days. The scary part was waiting to see if they actually had the referral. I suppose if they hadn't, I could have corrected that with more phone calls.  The best thing is once the doctor sees me, I'll be able to follow up by phone, without a huge amount of waiting. * * * * There was also some conditional good news from Oregon, as my brother and sister-in-law, nephew, grand-niece, etc., are back in their homes, and have power for the first time in nearly a week. They live on a hillside; those in the valley below have lost everything. Last we spoke, SIL was looking into how they could volunteer and/or donate...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times? Perhaps not as dramatic as all that, but yesterday was a tale of two days, for sure. We had a leisurely morning -- well, when you barely sleep, all mornings seem long -- and drove the dogs over to Salty Dog , the local daycare and boarding spot. When I made the arrangements, Jaime was the opposite of every doggie daycare place I've spoken with in any city. She was so totally laid back. Whatever day, whatever hour, just come on by. She didn't ask for vaccination certificates or do an aggression test. She does boarding as needed, grooming if you want it, she raises Husky puppies, and she's open 24/7 to accept rescues, which she tries to rehome, but will keep if need be.  We followed signs up a rutted mountain road -- perhaps this is why she does pick-up and drop-off? -- until the sound of barking told us we were in the right place. There was a large collection of outdoor kennels -- clearly homemade, irregularly shaped, some...

I am having the surreal experience of looking through photographs of the wildfire devastation in Washington State, Oregon, and California, and seeing the names of towns where much of my family live. They are all personally safe, and as of right now their homes are intact. It's very scary, both in the immediate and the larger pictures. My own personal surreality continues, my skin covered in red welts, scabs, and bruises. (Bruises from scratching; my skin bruises easily.) I've learned that chronic hives are a roller coaster. Two or three times a day they appear to be clearing up, only to come back with a vengeance. I am worn down from the trifecta of not sleeping, not taking any of my medications, and not getting any exercise (activity inflames the damn stuff). It's warm here, but I won't wear shorts out of the house -- which is ridiculous, really, but the skin on my legs is wrecked. OK, enough complaining! Something I forgot to mention yesterday, on our last night in Vi...

I slept more last night than I have since the hives started, and this morning felt halfway human for the first time in months.  I took Cookie and Kai for an early-morning walk on the harbour. There are few things I love more than a paved, accessible, waterfront walk. (On our first trip to Vancouver Island in April 2018 , I was in love with a very special such walkway in Sidney, not far from here, that is also studded with public art.)  The Victoria harbour is beautiful, and/but full of expensive-looking marinas, hotels, and condos, plus party-coloured float houses . (Some or maybe most must be vacation rental properties). It would all be an exclusive private manse if not for the beautiful public, accessible, walkpath. And since it's Victoria, it's ringed with well-tended plantings and gardens. A lovely way to start the day. In the late-ish morning we dropped the dogs off at Whisker's Urban Ranch, and headed to Jam Cafe for breakfast. Besides having removed many tables, thi...

We had another good breakfast at Popsey's, then hit the road to Victoria. Campbell River is halfway between Port Hardy, the northernmost town on the Island, and Victoria, at the southern tip. We really felt the change in climate, from the north and west coast cool, temperate barely-summer weather, to the rest of the island's hot dry summer. We had a good drive down, and went straight to the doggie daycare place where the pups will be tomorrow, for their "meet and greet". Cookie and Kai have never been anywhere like this! Diego (and for a time, Tala) were old pros at daycare. Diego especially loved it. These pups, though, are with us constantly! The few times we've been away, a teenage dogsitter hung out with them. So this is an entirely new experience, and I think it's good for them. Whisker's Urban Ranch is a small, mom-and-pop operation. There were lots of dogs in an indoor playroom, and staff takes them for on-leash walks at intervals. The owner introd...

This is the time when wmtc turns into a travel journal, which I write almost entirely for myself, for a record of my travels. First of all, we were supposed to travel in April, an ultimate road trip that would take in everything I could want in a vacation, from beloved friends and family -- many of whom we had not seen in many years, and who I really miss -- to gorgeous scenic drives, and, of course, baseball. And with our dogs, too! That is truly my little heaven.  Even before the lockdown, we realized we had to cancel. When the border closed, at least it confirmed our decision. So yeah, that's all behind us, and when so many people have died, and so many others are near starvation, it seems the height of privilege to complain about cancelling a vacation. But I miss my family, and I don't know when I'll see any of them again, including my 89-year-old mother. Perspective or not, it still hurts. Back in the present moment, I am struggling with uncontrolled, chronic urticaria...

As my Facebook friends know all too well, I have been struggling with severe urticaria -- hives -- for two months. I have been going out of my mind with unrelenting itching. My skin is on fire. For six weeks, I had no idea what had caused the urticaria, and nothing known to me relieved the itching. At the end of a day of itching and burning,  Aveeno soothing baths and a thick eczema balm help calm things down.* Ice packs offer some relief.  Antihistamines do nothing, although I continue to take them, fearing it will be worse if I don't. I've seen a doctor twice, which was almost useless, although he did refer me to a dermatologist. There can sometimes be very long wait-times for specialists, and apparently dermatology is one of those. I don't expect to see a specialist for months. I've heard allergists are even worse. A friend recommended a naturopath who practices in a few different towns, including ours, and I thought, why not. I had a very thorough consultation; sh...

I've decided to have bariatric surgery. I made the decision towards the end of last year, and I started a separate blog so I could write about it. Initially I wanted to keep this very private. I just wasn't ready to share it. But there's a lot of stigma around weight-loss surgery, and I like to poke holes in stigma whenever I can.  I'm taking steps to improve my health. There should be no shame in that. If some people are judgmental or feel superior, that's not my problem. If you want to come along, I'll be writing about this at 85 percent thinking . 

In 2015, Allan and I moved into an apartment , for the first time since leaving New York City in late 2005. We had rented a series of houses for 10 years. Now the market had changed and it was clear there were no houses for rent in our price range that would offer long-term stability and a decent commute. There is no way we would consider buying a house in the Toronto area, and we had no interest in buying a condo. This meant we were forced to move back to rental apartment life. We found a great apartment, as rentals go -- three bedrooms, two bathrooms -- at an affordable rent. And we adjusted. I'm very aware of my own privilege, so I consciously found the positives and tried not to complain about the negatives. But truth be told, it was a difficult adjustment, and definitely a diminished sense of well-being and happiness. I sorely missed having private outdoor space -- a lack that had me scheming to find a way to leave NYC many years before we actually did. Having a backyard was t...

I've been putting off the recall training. We have equipment, and we have advice, but we don't have a plan -- because we haven't made it a priority. Honking big flashing neon note to self: make it a priority . This morning I when called in both dogs from the backyard, only Kai appeared. And she appeared from behind some foliage. Hmm. I called for Cookie a few times, then followed Kai to the back fence. And there it was, well-hidden behind tall flowers. A tunnel.  You might not think our girl could fit through that space. But she's very skinny. And very determined! This escapes marks a milestone for She Who Cannot Be Contained. It's the first time she's breached the main perimeter fence. The new fence which cost many thousands of dollars. Sigh. I grabbed Cookie's collar and leash, and my car keys, assuming I would have to drive around looking for her. Once out in the road, I saw a neighbour, several houses down, was talking to Cookie, trying to keep her occup...

One of my principal goals for 2019 was to improve my level of fitness. I had been only sporadically active for 10 years -- beginning with starting graduate school while working two jobs, then segueing into becoming president of my local union -- and it had definitely negatively impacted my health and well-being. The year of getting more fit? No. I was highly motivated and the year started out well. I bought new hiking boots and some rain gear, and we explored all the manageable trails in our area. I bought swim gear and got back in the pool for the first time in 10 years. After we adopted Kai and Cookie, I began each day with a walk, and I walked to work a few days each week. I was feeling good about the effort. Then I tried to resume a strengthening program I had used a few years back, and ended up with intense back spasms, fully out of commission for a week, then with reduced movement for another two or three weeks. That began a frustrating cycle: every time I would increase my activ...

When I wrote my beyond-rave review of The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma , by Bessel van der Kolk, I purposely omitted some personal reaction and connections I had to the book. Here they are. Moving forward with my own healing On the list of physical issues that can result from trauma, fibromyalgia is one of the most common -- along with depression, anxiety, stomach issues, and chronic fatigue. I've long ignored the connection between my past experiences and fibromyalgia, but now I feel ready to take it on. After resisting this for years, I want to try EMDR , for its potential to reduce my fibromyalgia symptoms. When I made this decision, I thought it might be futile, as I assumed I wouldn't be able to find a practitioner. To my surprise, there are many, not far away! Not in our town or region, but in the closest more populous area. That's about three hours away, but doable. (Funny how a three-hour drive now seems like no big deal! It ...

Removed from all context, I am loving social distancing. I was very disappointed to cancel our planned vacation to visit west-coast family and friends. But other than that, I am having a great time. Reading. Writing. Practicing piano . Doing jigsaw puzzles. Watching movies and series. Walking outside. Stretching and meditating inside. Playing with our dogs. They are loving having me around all the time. Cooking. The Instant Pot is working overtime! Getting things done around the house. Poor Allan, because he works from home anyway, he's not getting a vacation, and his alone time has disappeared. But for me, it's a guilt-free staycation. That's quite a contrast with the outside world. It's horrendous. Illness, death, income loss, ordinary employment becoming dangerous. So much uncertainty, and so much fear. I can't seem to lose the feeling of surreality. Is this really happening? Where is it going? How bad will it get? I'm not looking for answers. I stay in the m...

I'm taking piano lessons! I'm really happy and excited about it. I'm using an amazing site called Pianote , which combines traditional lessons with seamless, user-friendly technology. * * * * If you're just picking up this story, please read this . (Comments are still missing. Blogger was (finally) working on it ... now, who knows.) Ever since writing that post above, piano lessons has been on my to-do list. Now social distancing has given me the perfect opportunity to get started. But how to begin? Simple sheet music wouldn't be enough. I knew I would need actual lessons to guide me through the process. And I wanted an app or online course so I wouldn't have to schedule anything or, to be honest, deal with another human. When I started surveying piano-learning apps, I discovered a deluge of options, and most of them looked awful. Many are geared to children. These are mostly "gamified" (yuck) and involve teaching basic songs by rote (double yuck). I ...

I've never cancelled a trip because of external circumstances. Until now. In 1994, we were heading to Mexico -- to travel through the country, not to stay in a resort -- when revolution broke out in the state of Chiapas. We went anyway. In 2001, we were booked on a flight to Ireland, two months after September 11, and less than 24 hours after a plane crashed immediately after takeoff from the same NYC airport. We went anyway. In 2017, we were finally going to Egypt, when a bomb went off in a Cairo church. We went anyway. In about a month from now, we were to take a road trip with our dogs, to visit family and friends in Oregon and California. We've cancelled. Travel in the US seems ill-advised right now, even more so because we would be seeing my 88-year-old mother who already has respiratory issues. What if were exposed to the coronavirus and then infected her? It was a simple decision, yet such a painful one. I am so disappointed! I haven't seen my west-coast nieces and n...

A few posts ago , I mentioned having a PTSD episode, and being open about it, in a group setting. That post seems to have resonated with a lot of people. In that same spirit, I'm sharing this. * * * * I attended a week-long labour education event, part of the CLC's Winter School. Many different courses take place at the same time, each five days long; you're with the same people all week. My group was seven people from my own local, plus three other locals from our union, about 20 people in total. Our classroom was a very supportive environment, full of compassion and support, plus a lot of humour and fun. Three days in, we finished our morning check-in, and the facilitator said: We're going to try something new. Find a partner, and one of you will be blindfolded. That's all I heard. At the word blindfold , my head started roaring. I thought, I'll just wait til she's finished, then I'll say something to the facilitator privately. But as the facilitator c...

"I find it really difficult to ask for help." I've heard many people say this. I don't know if I ever said this myself, but as a teen and then young adult, I definitely tried never to ask for help, and seldom would allow myself to accept any. When I needed help of any kind -- physical, financial, emotional -- I would feel uncomfortable and deeply indebted, for relatively small actions. In New York City, where, like millions of New Yorkers, I didn't own a car, if someone gave me a ride home, I would thank them profusely. Years later, living in Mississauga, I offered people rides home all the time, and realized it was not that big a deal. The same goes for being asked to stay for dinner, or being offered a cup of tea or a glass of wine in someone's home. A simple act of friendship or kindness, especially from someone I didn't know very well, seemed like Such A Big Deal. This is certainly one area where our world makes it more difficult for men. Asking for he...